The View From My Front Porch : September 2019

This drizzly weather is giving me all the hygge feels. Anyone else?? We've got candles lit, a good book, possibly daresay even a mimosa?? I'll take the reprieve from the constant go-go of our days. You bet I will.

It's been a hot minute since I sat at the keys and talked about life. So much happens over the course of two months, good and hard, and yet, more and more things must be kept within these walls. Such is the life of parenting teenagers I guess. What a lonely job, yet all of us who have children will God willing face that journey. All the highs and lows of what that brings. Parenting books teach you about potty training and pre-school, but nothing can prepare you for driver's licenses, social media, societal pressures, balancing the amount of time your kids spend on video games vs real life, overcoming bad choices, and the like. And all the while, so many parents go it alone, trying to protect their children's privacy or hiding inevitable shame that comes from raising tiny humans turned young adults.

Some days we are struggling to keep our heads above the surface and on others, all we can do is laugh or we most certainly will cry. How grateful I am to have Dan to navigate these waters with me. All we really want is for our kids to make it to adulthood unscathed right? To teach them not to make the same mistakes we did. To save them from the consequences of their poor choices, and praying more than anything to get them through without any life long repercussions. I'm guilty of saying I just want them to survive middle school and high school when what I actually want them to do is thrive. I want them to be kind and compassionate. To find a passion and advocate for something bigger than themselves. I want them to be good friends and find good friends. To love Jesus and love others the way Jesus does. I want them to be happy overall. Not to just survive this life.

It's funny because even a few years ago, I prided myself on being a laid back parent. I would NEVER become a helicopter parent. Never in this lifetime. And yet here we are. HA! Parenting teenagers will do things to your psyche that I can't even put into words. 😆😆 What I know with my rational mind is that my kids will make mistakes. They will most certainly do things and then get busted for doing said things. They will be the victim of unkind people and at one point or another be unkind to someone else. And you know what? So was I. So did I. My mistakes taught me more about how to live my life than anything my parents could have "warned" me about. I had to live through the consequences to grow. Sometimes those consequences are small in the grand scheme of things, and yet others are life changing. It is sobering and terrifying to know that I have to let go of the bike my kids are learning how to ride. There's a point where failing to let go of their bike seat prevents them from fully experiencing the ride. The brutal truth is that in less than three years, Jae will be graduating and stepping into the next phase of her life. And at that point, I have to trust that we did what we could to teach her how to live it well.

There are so many perks of having kids that are more self sufficient, but I wasn't prepared for the sadness that came with letting them take the handlebars. I'm definitely a work in progress, and I can only pray that I'm not screwing my kids up for life. 😏

With that being said, I'm grateful for each day I get to be their mama. We definitely have good days in spite of some of the hard ones, and those are the ones I want to remember. I'm learning to say "It is well with my soul." (Note- Saying it and feeling it are completely separate. Again, work in progress)

#thatisall about this parenting talk that I care to write about. I want to sign off with my "End of Summerish" things I'm loving right now.

1. Dates with our nieces