Saturday, May 9, 2015

My Village

Mother's Day always gives me mixed feelings. On one hand, I think it's a beautiful way to pay tribute to all the mamas and grandmas in our lives. There's always a reason to love up amazing women in our lives, but then again, I think that it's become another consumer holiday, much like Valentine's Day where TV commercials and magazine ads remind us not to disappoint our moms with crappy gifts.

I don't need chocolates and flowers because my kids feel obligated to get me gifts. I want them to do whatever they authentically want to do. I'd forever be fine with hugs and kisses and Sunday mornings where my littles jump into my bed to show me some extra love just because I'm their mama. If that was all Mother's Day ever was, I would still be the luckiest girl on earth. They are mine.

The truth is, the old adage is so completely accurate. It takes a village. It really does. My kids would not be as well adjusted, healthy, or happy if it weren't for all the people that make it possible: grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, teachers, daycare providers....our village. So I feel a little like I'm being put on a pedestal that isn't big enough to fit all the people who deserve that recognition. Maybe Mother's/Father's Day should be changed to Village Day.

This day can open really deep wounds for so many people. So many people in my life are struggling with things that can make this a day that is filled with pain and frustration for them instead of a time of happiness and celebration. There are many amazing women I know who would give anything to be a mama. In my mind, they are already mamas waiting for God to place a little of their very own into their arms. Some children are remembering a mama that is no longer with them. Some mamas are empty handed or a child short because their precious little lives were cut short. Others, yet, have broken relationships that make this day a hard one to celebrate. And while that doesn't change the fact that there are mamas we want to celebrate, I can't help but feel like we need to remember what this day means to others. It means that while we celebrate, we also are sensitive to others and how this day might trigger some not so happy feelings.

So on Mother's Day, celebrate your mamas (I will be!)- but more importantly, celebrate all the women (we'll save the men for Father's Day) who played a part in raising you or helping you raise your littles. There are dozens of women in my life who deserve to be celebrated. Many of them are mamas, some of them aren't. Some because they don't want to be or aren't ready, but many who long to be. This is their day too. So here's to them and to the littles who made me a mama. I love you.

Happy Mother's Day to anyone who loves a child. 

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